waiting for the right time

I'm at work wishing i could have a ruben or a roast beef on rye (crazy right) but instead i'm enjoying my pb&j corn chips and watermelon. I keep thinking how we were"waiting for the right time" to get pregnant and were always told theres never a right time. so in the middle of the night i started thinking whoa i didnt accomplish half of what i wanted to. was the urge to have a child something stronger then backpacking the world? learning to surf? learning another language, or did i just give up on those things before i even tried? jack and i keep saying we will travel with our child and learn along with them. i think its a great idea and hope $ falls from the sky so we can do it but i keep thinking about traveling with a child. I know the horror stories but i also know anythings possible. i'm so hoping not to be the mom with a trunk full of crap,pack in play stroller highchair on the go ect. i just want a diaper bag a bottle of water and the bambino. am i being unrealistic? i read these stories of these families who take their children out of the city for a vacation to work on a farm and stay in a shack and they love it!! why cant we fly to hawaii and learn to surf together? go to japan and learn japanese? sure i'll carry a potty in my bag when its time but i just really want this child to go on the subway swim in a lake experience life!! not be strapped in a stroller for half its life. why go to the zoo when you can go to the safari (not the one at great adventure ha) sure my expectations are sorta unrelalistic but rather then stop dreaming and coming to a screeching hault. i say this........i will become a lactation counsler, travel the world, learn different languages, learn to surf, have a tomatoe garden and conquer alot of my fears and goals of being a mom  and having a family.  jack and our child will be there every step of the way. why not make a difference. so to those who say life ends when you have kids. POO ON YOU WATCH ME CONQUER THE WORLD.  i know its not easy but nothing is. help me in this adventure don't give up on me don't convience me other wise. dreams come true. this post is dedicated to some of my favorite people who are struggling at life and conquering their dreams to stay happy. DO IT LADIES I KNOW YOU CAN AND YOU WILL DON'T GIVE UP NEVER GIVE UP. and now back to reality "sure i can help you weigh your baby, your nipples look great just try to sit up straight it will come in time don't worry, if they don't have teeth i wouldn't feed them an apple why don't your try apple sauce , your baby nurse can help you with that "ugh